Dark Lord Rising
by bauers374
Summary: Sauron has recovered his ring, but suprisingly he wants to save middle earth from a future brought about by the Age of Men
1. The World has Changed

(Author's note: This Highly improbable story is based on the results of console commands with the lord of the rings mod for Ck2, Also These will only be in the universe of The Lord of the The Rings and The Hobbit, not the Simmilarion [Aka The book for people who thought The Lord Of the Rings didn't have enough details] )

 _In the black lands of Mordor_

Sauron was out being a giant glowing eyeball thing when he just randomly reaquired his ring, and restored his material form

 _In the peaceful greens of The Shire_ Frodo was out smoking some dank pipeweed when he just randomly was imprisoned in a tower, then he was led to a gallows by some Dudes in hoods

 _In the Last Homely House Of Rivendell_ Arwen was out sitting on the balcony When she just randomly saw a giant flaming orange Eyeball flash before her eyes and she felt different, darker. It was then she saw Him sitting on her bed, A handsome figure with silver eyes, he radiated power, and had the most beautiful silver eyes. "W-who are you?" the fair elven maiden asked. "Oh you know who I am, Sweet River Lilly" he said in a deep, yet smooth voice. "S-sauron? B-but how why are you so-" she always heard sauron's physical form described as a giant in black armour and a horned helmet that just screamed Evil Overlord, not an attractive human-looking man with silver eyes.

" You are wondering why I am here, looking like this, I can assure you, what you see before you is no illusion, what you see before you is who I really am. I have seen the fate of Middle Earth, The Age of Man, The Fading of the Elves Dwarves and Entwives, They are connected, but not bound by fate. I can save middle earth, and stop the Fading, and I need your help, River Lilly, Arwen. Please take a seat. " he gestured politely to the chair near her bed. For a suposed lord of evil, Sauron was suprisingly a lot more polite than Arwen expected. The last part he said though caught her attention. She sat down in the chair and he handed her a cup of tea, she sipped it, suprised it was made exactly how she liked it.

" When I first made The One Ring I had a vision of the future, or what I know now to be one of the two possible futures, I saw the Age of Men, It will destroy Middle Earth and bring about an eternity of betrayal and suffering, Something I saught to prevent. I thought my chance was lost forever when the ring was lost, But then I received a second chance, Fate allowed me to regain my ring, And fate showed me a Different Future, Elves and Orcs, Goblins and Dwarves, and Trolls and Ents all fighting Side by Side against Man, an era of peace between Orcs and Elves, between Goblin and Dwarf and Ent and Troll."

"But why do you need me?" Arwen asked, confused.

"In both of these visions I saw you, In the first you are known forevermore as the elf who was forever faithful to a man who was unfaithful forever, and caused the death of her people." He paused at this, before continuing "In the second I saw you known as the saviour of her people, and of all of Middle earth, your name becoming one of the most popular in all of Middle earth, and Arwen, My sweet River Lilly, most importantly I saw you and I together." She just stared into his silver eyes, before asking "If your intentions are so noble, why are you known as The Dark Lord?" at this question he chuckled a non-evil chuckle.

"Funny story about that, Its actually because I'm the lord of Mordor, is mainly black rocks, hence Lord of Dark Land, which was eventually mistranslated as The Dark Lord."

"But how will we get My father to agree to this"

"That, my sweet river lilly is a matter I planned for, tell him what I have told you, ask him to contact your grandmother, She can confirm what I have said, using her mirror, They will assemble The White Council, eventually deciding I am telling the truth, and you and I can be together"

He kissed her and vanished

where he sat there was a silver ring with a saphire river lilly


	2. The White Council

When Elrond first heard his Daughter's story he performed the first spit-take ever in the history of Middle Earth.

"You- What"

"Father, The Mirror of Galadrial will confirm everything I said, and Everything he saw"

 _Later_

When the Mirror had confirmed that what Arwen had told Elrond was the alternative to Eternal Suffering, Galadrial performed Middle Earth's second spit-take.

"Summon the White Council"

The Five Council Members all took their seats, and Arwen sat behind Elrond, Gandalf scowled at her, like one condeming a criminal.

"Can we just get this !@#%ing *%@ over with" Radagast the Brown complained, before Saruman turned to him and cleared his throat.

"You are no doubt wondering why you are all here" Saruman turned to Elrond and gave a slight bow "Master Elrond, if you would".

"My Daughter had a visitor who has found a way to prevent the Great fading. He has seen Two Futures, In one the Age of man comes and brings and I quote "an eternity of suffering and betrayal" however, he has also seen another future, A Peaceful Middle Earth, cooperation between Elves and Orcs, Goblins and Dwarves, and Between Trolls and Ents. He also saw Him and Arwen together, with her known as the Saviour of her people and Middle Earth" Elrond explained rather longwindedly.

"But are not Arwen and Aragon bound by the Sacred Vow of Cerin Amroth" Gandalf said rather suspicious of this mystery man.

"The vow can be broken though, especially if the other has been cheating with... Ladies of the Evening, something that most men can fall victim to." Saruman said in a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

"Even so, who is this Supposed Saviour?"

Gandalf said in the tone of someone trying to be as politly rude as possible.

"As it turns out, Sauron" Galadriel said, she was quiet until now but then continued "Yes **THAT** Sauron, I too have seen the visions he speaks of".

"I, too can confirm indeed that Sauron is indeed back, and he is indeed seeking to ally with us, and Fight the Men" Saruman said, the way one says when proving someone right.

"Aha, So you admit it Saruman, You have betrayed us" Gandalf said in accusitory tone.

"Saruman has been acting as a Triple agent for us, on the councils orders" Elrond said in a stern voice.

"I was not informed of this decision" Gandalf said blankly.

"Nor I" Radagast said grumbling swears under his breath.

"Well Gandalf, you too have secrets you and Radagast keep from the council, do you not" Saruman said logically.

"But surely you can not trust one who is literally called The Dark *!@#ing Lord you #$%@ing dumb@%es" Radagast said in the tone of one explaining the obvious.

"oh, he told me about that" Arwen said quite confidently "The title The Dark Lord came from a Mistranslation for Lord of the Dark Land, because Mordor has black rocks".

" That is without a doubt the Dumbest story I have heard in my $ing life, you stupid #@!" Radagast said, before Elrond turned to him and gave him a death glare.

"He is not wrong, the elvish translation of title The Dark Lord can also be interpreted as Lord of the Dark Land" Galadriel said ignoring Radagast's usual vocabulary that would make Sailors and Dwarves blush.

"Very well then, Let us call it to a vote, All in favor of the Union of Saruon of Mordor and Lady Arwen of Rivendell, and to Assist Sauron in the Presevation of Middle Earth from the Age of Men, please raise your hand" Elrond said, formally. before raising his hand, Saruman did also, along with Galadriel, Finally Arwen raised her hand and Gandalf noticed a silver ring on her finger.

"All opposed by the same sign"

Only Gandalf and Radagast raised there hands in opposition.

"Very well, The council is dismi-" Saruman said, before Gandalf said

" Look at the ring upon Arwen's finger, I say it could be cursed".

"Oh this Ring, he gave it to me, isn't it Grand" Arwen said happily showing Gandalf the ring.

"I changed my mind, It is definitly cursed" Gandalf spat.

"If it will humour you old man I will examine it" Saruman said boredly.

He waved his Staff around then said, " There is magic on the ring, However, It is mearly an Anti-Theft charm, It will always return to the owner, in this case, Arwen"

At this point Gandalf lost it "When did Saruman the wise abandon all reason for madness?" he yelled.

"Gandalf, You are Hereby removed from this council along with Radagast, If we see you here, or at the wedding, we will kill you" Saruman said being, pardon the pun, dead serious.


	3. The River Lilly and The Mithrel

Somewhere, Aragon was Reading a Newspaper when he performed the third ever Spit-Take. The headline proudly proclaimed:

 **Arwen To marry Sauron**

 _Earlier today Elrond Officially anounced the marrige between the supposed Dark Lord Sauron, and Lady Arwen of Rivendell,_

 _The Rivendelian Foreign Minister, Nevile Chamberlin has said "This Union will allow for Peace in our Time"._

 _I myself set out to Interview who many are calling the Saivour of Middle Earth who (con't page 10)_

That was without a doubt the Strangest thing Aragorn had ever read. You Visit some hookers, and karma punishes you by the girl you liked marrying The Dark Lord. Well no matter, Aragorn had a wedding to crash.

 _Meanwhile in Rivendell_

As it turns out, Mordor is not the best place for a wedding, Saroun especially realized this after the accident involving one of the Ents catching on fire, because he Didn't know what Lava was. (After Sauron and Arwen saved Middle Earth, Mordor was going to need a serious makeover, The Lava pits did not help his image as a Good guy)

Saroun was quite stressed, He wanted the wedding to go without a hiccup, and the Nazgul were not very good at helping to organise a wedding.

The only thing keeping him from killing his loyal, yet bumbleling undead servants, was the gentile feeling of Arwen's soft skin as her hands rubbed Sauron's elbow.

"Don't Make Us angry, You wouldn't like us when we're angry" Arwen ordered Bob the Nazgul, in the Tongue of Mordor, (Sauron had begun teaching her, so she could give orders to the Nazgul, who had recently been reduced to spectral house-servants). Bob gave a deep bow to his (soon-to-be) mistress, then to his master. Bob then went off to try and find something productive to do, Like sweep.

"What have they done this time, Mithrel?" Arwen asked her Fiance.

Sauron, who had collapsed on to his bed, smiled at this and said "I think you may have finally found it, my dear river lily"

For the past few weeks Arwen had been trying out different pet names for Sauron, and she had finally found one to go along with river lily.

As Sauron told her what the Nine messed up this time she gently stroked his skin with her soft fingers.

" Well, first I spent an hour teaching Bob how to throw rice, Afterwards I had to break up a fight between Jimmy and John, who were supposed to be arranging Flowers for the tables, and the other Laying out flyers, Because apparently Flyers and Flowers sound similar, then I went to check on the other six who were setting up chairs, in the exact pattern I asked them too, but they had the chairs upside down, Then I go back to find Bob throwing ice cubes, and I then had to reteach him how to throw rice, this time emphasising the R in rice".

"There's just one thing I've been wondering, Mithrel" Arwen asked after he concluded his story.

"What is that, dear River lily"

"Why are stressing yourself so much, over the wedding, mithrel?"

"Because Dear River Lily, I want to make sure this day is going to be perfect"


	4. This Day Ar(wen)ia

(Author's note: The song being played is the This day Aria, from Mlp Fim, or rather an Instramental verision, the title Sina amurea Aria actually being This day aria in an Elven tongue )

Billy the Nazgul was sitting at the organ playing music, of course because the Wedding March hadn't been written yet, he was instead playing the song, _Sina amurea Aria_ , by the famous elvish composer Daniel Ingram.

As the Opening section played Saroun walked out, (and as he had been for most of his return) tall, dark-haired and handsome, Silver eyed and Silver suited. Well actually Billy was sure if he was actually handsome, nazgul were asexual like all wights.

After the opening piece of the song, Arwen walked out, wearing a night sky black dress, Sequinned with constelations and at the bottom, sapphire River lillies hemmed in a row.

That last part was apparently what Sauron called an inside joke (Billy was confused how the joke could be inside at an outdoors wedding). Billy also heard Sauron and Arwen say the outfits were Mega-forrest-all and Iron-knee, what ever that meant.

The section typically reserved for the for the family of the groom was instead used to seat everyone who wasn't in the bride's family, because the only people sauron might include in that area, The Nazgul (who were all working), and the Mouth of Sauron (who was the best man).

 _Ten Minutes later_

"And In conclusion let any being present who doth objecth to the Union of Sauron and Arwen-" Saruman droned boredly.

" Wait, I obje-I obje- I object" Aragorn panted, he kicked down the door, and ran up the long Asle.

He was covered in Troll blood and Goblin intestines, and smelled like Dead Orcs, His broken half of a sword was Twisted.

He ran up to the alter, paused to catch his breath, and said to Arwen " No, wait, you can't marry Sauron, Please"

"You !" Arwen glared at him, then slapped him, "First you go and cheat on me with some cheap sluts" she slapped him again " and then, you decide to ruin my wedding, well you cheating bastard I will have none of it".

Aragorn just blinked.

Sauron then turned to Aragorn and Slapped him, "You hurt my River Lilly, you're not welcome here," Sauron gestured to the Mouth of Sauron, who then grabbed Aragorn by the legs and Dragged him out before literally throwing him out.

"Well Does anyone else have any objections?" Saruman asked nervously.

Unsuprisingly no one did.

"well then, Do you Lord Sauron of Mordor, Take Lady Arwen of Rivendell, to be your Wife forever"

"I do"

"And do you, Lady Arwen of Rivendell, Take Lord Sauron of Mordor to be your Husband forever"

"I do"

"Then by the power invested in me, I proclaim you, Husband and Wife, you may now kiss the bride"

Once more, Sauron kissed Arwen, this time though, it felt even better, because this was no vision they were both here, together, for as long as immortality lasts...

Forever


End file.
